Buenos consejos

Encontré en la Psychology Today (revista de la que siempre espero encontrar números viejos descartados en el cuartito de la basura en el pasillo del piso de mi psicoanalista), este análisis de un caso en una columna de advice. Me pareció buenísimo, claridad y comprensión, uno lee y aprende. La que aconseja se llama Hara Estroff Marano. También es digno de ser notado como trabaja esa revista el tema de recomendar terapeutas desde el site: en el camino de ser útiles y concretos ese país tiene demasiado para enseñarnos...

I've been dating a man for almost two years. But in addition to the good times, there are bad times. Because of his jealousy, I've had to avoid friendships with men (and their wives). Also, we've made a few purchases together, and he hasn't paid me back. He promised to pay me on the first of the month, then he forgot. After I argued with him, he agreed to a payment plan that will take longer. While I am getting money back from him, the plan inconveniences me. I'm not sure I can rely on him financially in the long term. Also, I'm not sure if he will tell me what is going on with him. I love him but need to know what can be worked on and what cannot.

Kudos to you for making your beau stick to his repayment promise. Generally, partners are on their best behavior before marriage, and that's when there's the most leverage for change. So it's wise not to sweep any signs of problems under the rug. The possibility of economic instability does not suggest a great foundation for starting a family. But the specter of jealousy may be even worse. Jealousy is a reaction to a perceived threat—real or imagined—to a valued relationship. Jealousy can make your life a nightmare of restrictions and has driven men to some very dangerous behavior. There's no reason to believe that jealousy will improve with time or marriage. It commonly reflects a weak sense of self and arises from fear of loss. It may, in fact, have its origins in an actual experience of loss earlier in life. That doesn't make it right or useful in a relationship. Because jealousy goes right to the core of the self and its roots are deep, it's not something that can be banished by wishful thinking. Here's where counseling with a good therapist can make life better for both of you. It's best to put off any investments or long-term plans until he gets help. If he refuses, it's a clear sign you'll be better off without him.

Link: hay más aquí.
Link: Psychology Today

Lindo el André Masson que ilustra, ¿no?